Expectant Mothers Keeping Baby’s Sex a Mystery

When an expectant mom contacted her doctor to receive her prenatal screening results, she set clear boundaries. Her request was simple: Do not disclose the sex of her baby. Many expectant parents opt to keep the baby’s sex a surprise for various reasons.

Research from Ohio State University examined first-time expectant mothers. Those who chose not to learn their baby’s sex showed a tendency toward scoring high in ‘openness to experience’ and held more egalitarian views on gender roles. The study suggested that some parents intentionally avoid knowing their baby’s sex to minimize gender stereotypes influencing expectations, gifts, and parenting decisions before birth.

Al Sheahan, from Perth, Australia, was pregnant with her second child when she made the impactful phone call. ‘We didn’t find out the sex of our first child and didn’t plan to for the second either,’ she told Newsweek. The call focused on the Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT) results. Sheahan recalls saying to the doctor, ‘I don’t want to know the sex. It’s likely on the form, so please don’t mention it.’

Despite her straightforward request, the doctor soon revealed, ‘Your baby is a girl.’ Sheahan attempted to ignore the revelation and stated, ‘No, no, no, I don’t want to know the sex, sorry,’ feigning ignorance. Regrettably, the surprise was compromised. Sheahan had successfully kept her first child’s sex a mystery until birth and yearned for that experience again.

Even though disappointment followed, Sheahan bears no ill will toward the doctor. She reflects on the incident with humor, appreciating the positives. ‘It’s hard to be upset when you learn you have a healthy, thriving baby. The shock was momentarily disappointing,’ she shared.

Nora Snowy Sheahan, named after her great grandfather, was born months later and will soon be one year old.

Having experienced both scenarios — knowing and not knowing the baby’s sex — Sheahan compares the approaches. ‘As long as you don’t have a gender preference, there aren’t many surprises left in life, and discovering who your baby is at birth is genuinely special,’ she expressed. She noted that choosing a name was easier without planning for both sexes, but still prefers keeping it a surprise.

Sheahan advises those wanting to maintain the mystery. ‘Remind every provider at the start of every conversation; it’s easy for them to slip up,’ she said. ‘I wouldn’t change anything. Everything happens for a reason, and she was meant to be our girl whether we found out early or not.’

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