Managing Distress: Techniques and Insights
Several years back, I experienced a challenging day at the office. My boss disagreed with me on a significant financial decision, leading to a heated exchange. They criticized my work approach, suggesting my lack of experience was the issue. I took these critiques to heart, feeling anxious and unsettled for weeks. Eventually, I sought help from a therapist.
According to Dr. Kali Cyrus, a psychiatrist in Washington, D.C., I was experiencing distress. This occurs when prolonged negative emotions and symptoms like stress, fatigue, and anxiety interfere with daily life. Cyrus describes it as ‘discomfort at extreme levels.’
Distress may arise from conflicts, life disruptions like job loss or breakups, or high-pressure situations, such as organizing a major event. Cyrus advises monitoring your body and mind to prevent discomfort from escalating into distress. This awareness can help because excessive stress can worsen physical wear, potentially causing high blood pressure, increased hormone levels, chronic fatigue, depression, and immune issues.
Is It Discomfort or Distress?
If a stressful event triggers you, pay attention to your physical and mental state. Discomfort manifests through signals such as tightness in the chest, stomach pain, sleep disturbances, and difficulty focusing. These symptoms indicate discomfort, which may be managed with grounding techniques. However, if they persist beyond a few days, they can turn into distress.
Cyrus notes that prolonged distress leads to a deregulated nervous system, disrupting hormonal balance. This state may result in depression, chronic pain, or anxiety, affecting your capacity to work or socialize. Seek a doctor if you experience these signs. A physical exam and blood work can identify possible health issues. If physical health is not the source, discuss mental health interventions like therapy or medication with your doctor.
Managing and Preventing Distress
Fortunately, there are strategies to halt discomfort from advancing to distress. Cyrus suggests several techniques.
Change the Scene
If you find yourself overwhelmed, find a way to disrupt the cycle. ‘Get outside, visit the bathroom, call someone, or take deep breaths,’ says Cyrus. Your nervous system, flooded with stress hormones, requires an interruption to see things more clearly. After my disagreement with my boss, I left the office for a walk. Observing nature helped me regain perspective.
Recount the Incident
Review the scenario and create a narrative to pinpoint what’s causing distress and recall overlooked details. Discuss it with a friend, therapist, or yourself through journaling or ‘speaking aloud as you walk,’ Cyrus suggests.
Identify Your Emotions
As you outline the situation, label your emotions, Cyrus advises. Using a feelings wheel can aid in articulating emotions more clearly. I consulted a therapist to process my conflict with my boss. She guided me in understanding that the feeling of being dismissed upset me more than the disagreement itself. This shifted my perspective.
Recognize Triggers
Analyze what triggers your discomfort. If road rage is a trigger, consider its cause. Is it a time constraint or disdain for traffic? Alleviate these by leaving early or negotiating a flexible work schedule. I realized feedback implying inexperience makes me defensive. Now, I breathe deeply, pause, and inform the person I need time to process feedback before responding. This method gives me control over my emotions.
The audio version of this content was produced by Sylvie Douglis. Edited by Malaka Gharib, with visual direction by Beck Harlan. Your thoughts are welcome; leave a voicemail at 202-216-9823 or email [email protected]. Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and subscribe to our newsletter.