Navigating Loss and Hope: A Journey Through Pregnancy Challenges

Entering the ultrasound appointment, the anxiety was overpowering. My husband Ryan and I had been through so many ups and downs together. Living in Valparaiso, Indiana, my life had been blessed with his support.

In 2022, Nellie, our daughter, arrived. It should have been joyful news. Initially, doctors assured us she was healthy. However, upon waking at 3:30 a.m. after putting Nellie down for a nap, my world shattered—she was gone.

Our daughter’s loss felt overwhelming, yet we found strength to move forward. By 2024, we attempted IVF, facing a grueling process marked by two egg retrievals yielding no results. I took a pause after these setbacks.

In February 2025, I unexpectedly fell pregnant. Sadly, it was a chemical pregnancy, confirmed within five days. Though painful, losing a child before made this experience somewhat bearable.

Determined, we pursued IVF again at a new clinic. This time, the experience differed greatly—a successful pregnancy followed. Joy, however, mingled with caution. Around nine weeks, an abdominal ultrasound brought concern as only a faint heartbeat appeared, not strong enough to hear. July promised another ultrasound, filling me with hope.

Prepared for the appointment, anxiety rose. We stayed with my in-laws, facing a power outage at home. As we prepared to leave, my mother-in-law’s concern made me admit to unease. Despite naming the baby girl Poppy, my fears persisted.

Determined to capture every moment, I recorded the appointment. Sharing my pregnancy journey on TikTok as @elleighhasababy, I aimed for authenticity. Yet, the ultrasound technician delivered devastating news—no heartbeat with Poppy measuring only 7 weeks, 6 days. Slowly, shock subsided, replaced by the need for Ryan’s comfort.

We retreated to my in-laws, mourning together. Despite grief, I shared the footage on TikTok. Authenticity matters, and I connected with others facing infertility and loss, reassuring them they are not alone. Messages from viewers expressing help they received from my story were invaluable. Criticism arose regarding my reaction to the technician’s comfort attempt; her touch was intrusive amidst vulnerability.

While many videos capture pregnancy’s joy, sharing the lows—the failures, successful treatments, heartbreak—is crucial. Indeed, loss feels life-ending but hope persists for the future, for the family one dreams of.

Currently, post-dilation and curettage, I am recovering at home. Watching the video reveals a woman in shock, heartbroken yet seeking solace. Having endured losing Nellie at full term, survival feels possible, turning this loss into a mere setback.

Ryan and family, especially dad Jeff Shaw, offer unwavering support. The doctor’s plan fuels readiness for an upcoming embryo transfer. Hope perseveres for what lies ahead.