Understanding ‘Quiet Quitting’ in Relationships

The term ‘quiet quitting’ has emerged in workplace conversations to describe employees doing only the bare minimum. Now, this term is also being used to describe certain relationship dynamics. In some marriages, it refers to a scenario where spouses remain together but reduce their emotional investment and communication.

Even as one partner becomes emotionally distant, couples often manage daily responsibilities like household tasks and parenting. Relationship experts have observed this pattern.

Discussion around ‘quiet quitting’ in marriages has gained popularity on social media. Many users share their experiences of staying in a marriage while feeling emotionally checked out.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Lisa Brookes Kift, from Marin Therapy and Counseling in California, provided insights to Fox News Digital. She highlighted that a lack of arguing is not necessarily a sign of a healthy relationship. She explained, “Many avoid conflict. Instead of expressing their feelings, they choose to ignore them. This behavior can damage the emotional foundation over time.”

Attachment Styles and Marital Distress

Kift mentioned that a person’s attachment style affects their response to marital issues. For instance, someone with an avoidant style may cope by isolating themselves due to their comfort in self-reliance. In contrast, individuals with secure attachment styles are less likely to accept a disengaged relationship. They tend to believe in problem-solving and trust-building.

Early experiences shape these attachment styles. Kift asked questions like, “Did they learn their needs would be met? Could they trust important people in their lives? Were they loved for who they were?”

If adult relationships mirror past disappointments, hope diminishes. “I’ve seen many whose needs remain unmet, leading to hopelessness,” Kift remarked.

Indicators of Emotional Disengagement

Kift identified several signs of emotional disengagement in relationships, such as:

• Decline in open communication
• Unresolved conflicts
• Growing impatience
• Assuming the worst about a partner’s intentions

These issues, if ignored, could lead relationships to operate like “parallel play,” a term used on Oprah’s podcast by journalist Monica Corcoran Harel. This refers to engaging in daily life without meaningful interaction.

Repairing the Relationship

Kift emphasized the importance of both partners re-engaging for relationship repair. A spouse emotionally checked out may resist efforts to improve the bond. The presence of hypervigilance might prevent recognizing positive changes in a partner.

For those wanting to mend their relationship, Kift recommended starting with a safe, caring conversation. “Express that the marriage and partner are important. Find a time to discuss.”

Khloe Quill, a lifestyle writer with Fox News Digital, reports on topics such as food, travel, and health.