Using AI in the World of Dating

Whether you enjoy or dislike generative AI chatbots, they are becoming more involved in modern romance. Some skepticism surrounds their role in dating, but many individuals are using AI as a dating coach or relationship expert. People seek AI assistance for tips on creating dating profiles, understanding messages, and drafting responses. However, the effectiveness can vary. Learning to use chatbots effectively while recognizing their limitations is crucial.

AI as a Wingman, Not a Ghostwriter

Logan Ury, Hinge’s director of relationship science, acknowledges the hesitance about AI. Nevertheless, the core search for love remains unchanged. Hinge offers AI-powered conversation starters and tools to assist users in creating better profiles. Ury advises using AI like a ‘wingman’ instead of a ‘ghostwriter,’ emphasizing the importance of authenticity when meeting in person.

Ury suggests leveraging AI for feedback on profiles and date ideas based on interests. She cautions against using chatbots to compose messages or alter personal images. Over-relying on AI risks losing genuine personal touch.

Keeping AI’s Role Limited

Dating coach Erika Ettin believes AI’s role should be minimal, limited to tasks like proofreading profiles or messages. She encourages individuals to maintain authenticity and use AI only as a support tool after initial thoughts are formed.

“All I ask is for people to put their own thought and critical thinking in first,” Ettin emphasizes.

Asking the Right Questions

Jules White, from Vanderbilt University’s initiative on the future of learning and generative AI, discusses the importance of how users interact with chatbots. The effectiveness of AI advice hinges on the clarity of user prompts. Specific questions get detailed answers, whereas vague questions yield generic responses.

White suggests prompting chatbots to ask users questions, leading to better tailored advice. Matt Shumer, an AI industry expert, advocates for questions that encourage deep thinking. For example, seeking advice on message interpretation can involve asking a chatbot to help understand situational nuances without providing direct answers.

Awareness of Biases

Chatbots may not offer entirely objective advice. Their responses depend on the user’s input, and they often aim to please. When seeking advice on conflicts, provide balanced information. Liesel Sharabi, director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at Arizona State University, warns against relying solely on AI advice, comparing it to listening to a single friend’s perspective.

Sharabi advises using AI as one among many advice sources, underlining the importance of taking multiple perspectives into account for better decision-making.