Balancing Motherhood and Work: A Personal Journey

Returning to work after the birth of my son marked one of the most challenging periods of my life. I found myself sinking into a deep depression, fearing a path that seemed increasingly perilous. At the time, I was involved in a postpartum depression study at New York University Hospital. Doctors observed a noticeable change in my psychological state after six months. This shift, while surprising to them, made sense to me. Rejoining the workforce meant entrusting my newborn to another’s care for nine hours daily, while I hardly left the house.

Professionally, writing had been my passion, and the income it brought was significant. However, the decision to continue working was complex. The financial gain was increasingly offset by childcare costs, diminishing the importance of my paycheck each week.

Welcome to ‘Mildy Maternal: Diary of a Work In Progress Mom,’ a weekly reflection on navigating new motherhood. This journey began with uncertainty about becoming a mother, only solidified by being informed of potential infertility. I’m a 34-year-old residing in New York City, raising a 14-month-old. I’m crafting my own parenting guide, given my lack of experience. Before having my child, I had never even held a baby, much to my mother’s concern.

With over a decade as a professional writer, including eight years at Newsweek, my identity is intertwined with my career. It was significant enough to be mentioned in my father’s wedding speech. If asked in 2023 about the possibility of leaving my job, my response would have been an emphatic no, as I couldn’t imagine a life without work. Motherhood did not change this completely. The idea of abandoning my career was unattractive, and staying at home full-time seemed unappealing. Yet, two months after maternity leave, I was on the brink of resigning, having crafted multiple resignation drafts.

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